


Closer to Heaven Above (and Closer to You)

by BreTheWriter



Series: Jim and Bones: The Academy Years [4]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, well sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-29
Updated: 2015-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-09 13:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3251288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreTheWriter/pseuds/BreTheWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They haven’t really talked about this thing that’s happened—about how they’ve become They. Leonard knows they should—he knows they need to clear the air, to talk about what they’re feeling and maybe set some ground rules—but after three years of wondering what Jim’s lips taste like, he’s not exactly going to protest when they start necking like teenagers, even if they are drunk at the time.</p><p>Maybe he should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closer to Heaven Above (and Closer to You)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [neroh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neroh/gifts).



> Prompt from the lovely [nerodinero](http://nerodinero.tumblr.com) over on Tumblr, who asked me:
> 
>  
> 
> _Can we talk about Jim and Bones' first real kiss? Not some sloppy, messy thing that happens when they're drunk, but the one that changes everything. The one that makes them go "wow"._
> 
>  
> 
> This may not have been exactly what was intended, but it's what came out.
> 
> The title is from the song "Cowboy Take Me Away" by the Dixie Chicks.

They’ve only been together for five nights. They’ve been drunk every single one of them—except the first night, the night they confessed their love to one another, when Jim was the only one who was drunk. The next day he failed the  _Kobayashi Maru_  and Leonard took him for a drink to help him put it out of his mind. The night after that, Jim’s friend Ten’tol invited both of them to dinner with him. The night after  _that_  was just their usual night to go out and have a drink at their favorite bar. Last night, Leonard almost lost a patient.

They haven’t really talked about this thing that’s happened—about how they’ve become They. Leonard knows they should—he knows they need to clear the air, to talk about what they’re feeling and maybe set some ground rules—but they’re both in class most of the day, and when they’re drunk, even just a little tipsy, they don’t want to talk. Jim is a handsy drunk, always has been, and Leonard has to admit that after three years of wondering what Jim’s lips taste like, he’s not exactly going to protest when they start necking like teenagers. There’s a little groping and Leonard’s pushed Jim up against a wall more than once, but he always stops it before it goes any farther than that. He wants to make love to Jim—of course he does—but he’s determined not to touch Jim like that when either of them are drunk, when they’re not fully consenting. And he wants it to be special.

Leonard has a late shift at the clinic and Jim’s there to meet him when he gets off. There’s no real discussion about where they’re going, but Leonard can’t help but note that they’re not heading towards the bars that surround the campus—they’re heading back towards Leonard’s dorm room. Maybe it’s just because Jim figures Leonard wants to change before they go out, but on the other hand, the idea of a quiet night in with Jim is starting to appeal to him.

He pauses as they cross the courtyard, watching Jim. It’s a beautiful night, and even though there’s no moonlight, the stars are visible, even through the light pollution. But to Leonard, the real beauty of the night is Jim, the way the faint light plays over his hair, the sparkle in his eyes, even the tilt of his head.

Jim glances back at Leonard and smiles. Leonard smiles back, moves up to Jim’s side, and takes him in his arms. As he dips his head towards Jim, though, Jim pulls back. “Wait. What are you doing?”

"Kissing you?" Leonard says, raising an eyebrow.

"But—but why?"

Leonard stares at Jim, fighting back panic. Oh, God, has he been misreading everything these last few days? Has Jim been so drunk that he hasn’t realized what they’ve been doing? Has Leonard accidentally been taking advantage of the man he loves more than life itself? He takes refuge in sarcasm. “What did you think I’d been doing for the last few days, tryin’ to suck the alcohol out of your body?”

Jim shakes his head. “But—we’re not drunk now.”

"That was kind of the idea, kid."

"But—" Jim looks up at him, his blue eyes absolutely bewildered. "Why would you  _want_  to kiss me when we were sober?”

Leonard can’t breathe for a moment. In eleven words, Jim has basically made his heart shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. “Why?” he repeats. “Jim, has anybody  _ever_  kissed you when both of you were sober?”

Jim looks away. “No,” he says softly. “Not except—I mean, sometimes as part of foreplay, but…there’s nothing really in it then, so I don’t think it counts. But no. Nobody’s ever kissed me, or held me, or—or anything without alcohol involved. I don’t think I’m worth it.”

He tries to pull away, but Leonard won’t let him. He draws Jim closer instead, cups his jaw gently with one hand, tilts his head back, and kisses him.

It’s not what a first kiss with Jim Kirk would be expected to be like. Considering Jim’s reputation as a sex god, one would expect the first kiss—at least the first  _real_  kiss, the first sober one—to be hot and passionate and sex-charged. Leonard has to remind himself that the whole point here is to go slow and take his time and show Jim just how cherished he is. There’s certainly no lack of passion, it’s just gentle, restrained, as tender as Leonard can make it. Jim’s lips are soft and pliant under Leonard’s, and without the tang of alcohol, they taste even sweeter than he’s ever dreamed. Fireworks explode inside Leonard’s chest, threatening to tear him apart, but if this is how he’s going to die, it’s a worthwhile death.

Leonard at last breaks the kiss, but he does it slowly, carefully, lingering as long as possible, both because he really doesn’t want to stop and because he wants Jim to know it. But as their lips part, as he opens his eyes to look at his lover, he realizes that Jim is crying.

"Jim?" he says softly, worried. "You okay?"

Jim looks up at him, searching his face. “Nobody’s ever…I’m not worth it, Bones. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve  _you._  Why would you want to be with someone like me?”

Leonard gently wipes away a tear from Jim’s cheek. “Because I love you.”

Jim starts crying harder. Leonard pulls him close, letting him bury his face in Leonard’s shoulder, and rests his lips on the top of Jim’s head. “I love you,” he repeats. “And I’m gonna dedicate the rest of my life to showing you that you  _do_ deserve this. Starting right now. I love you.”

"I love you, too," Jim whispers. He looks up at Leonard and slides his arms around Leonard’s neck. "God, I love you so much."

Leonard kisses him again, long and slow and deep, and it’s absolutely perfect. Just like their first kiss.

Just like every other kiss to come.

**Author's Note:**

> As I may have mentioned, [this is also on Tumblr.](http://brethewriter.tumblr.com/post/109352187629/can-we-talk-about-jim-and-bones-first-real-kiss) You can also read my other stories (including--and especially--a lot of little drabbles that haven't made it onto AO3) under the tag [#bre writes fanfic](http://brethewriter.tumblr.com/tagged/bre-writes-fanfic). I'm still going through and retagging my older stuff, and hopefully soon I'll have an organized page with all my stories listed, but for now...feel free to take a look.


End file.
